Thinking The Sounds

I’m the father of two girls.

My life has been surrounded by various shades of pink.  Lots of shades of pink.  I have changed lots of baby doll diapers.  I have had to put tights on dolls.  I have spent time in what my brother John calls “the pink aisle” at the toy store—Barbie central.  There’s ballet shoes and dress up skirts and fairy wings all over the place.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love being the father of girls.  I don’t think I could handle the crazy rambunctiousness of boys.  (I’ve taught a kindergarten class of 80% boys.  I know, trust me.)  And while my two girls love all things princess-ey, they’re not fashion crazy (yet…).  They are actually both very broad in their tastes and interests.  They’re really cool and unique little people.

And while we’re on gender roles, we all know I’m not the most macho guy on the block.  I don’t follow sports.  At all.  I love Broadway.  I cook.  I was a stay-at-home dad.  I saw Jewel live.  (Okay, that one was a total accident.  She opened for Peter Murphy of all people.  And this was before she was well known, so cut me some slack.)

But there are times when I wish I had a boy.  I see pictures (and video) of my friend Paul and his son making these crazy creations with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings LEGO’s and I get all misty.  The nerd fanboy in me has wanted to pass on to my nerdy boy offspring tons of arcane and useless sci-fi geekdom.  Ultraman, Batman, Middle Earth, Johnny Socko, and—of course—Star Wars.

Now, my 10 year old has been a die-hard Harry Potter fan for several years now.  Devouring books, games, trivia, costumes and finally the movies.  She’s been building her nerd pedigree quite well.  And primarily on her own.  Sure, I think it’s a great alternative universe, ripe with imagination and creativity.  If it had come out when I was a youngster I would have totally devoured it.  Like she has.

So I started thinking that it might be time to introduce her to that long ago and far away galaxy.  Naturally I started with what is now known as Episode IV: A New Hope but which I still call Star Wars.  And she took to it like a Taun Taun to snow.  She’s now completely obsessed.  We got the Star Wars LEGO Wii game and she wants to play all the time.  She goes on StarWars.com and spends time with her head deep in the Star Wars Encyclopedia.

And I’m a happy camper.

My 6-year old has jumped on the bandwagon.  Leia and Amidala have supplanted Ariel and Jasmine as her new favorite princesses (I know, the latter is a queen, but so what).  She’s only seen Return of the Jedi, but now she wants lots of Star Wars LEGO’s.

And so I’m enjoying sharing one of my childhood joys with my kids.  We play together and talk about characters.  We laugh and share inside jokes.  And I’m a happy daddy.

My wife goes back and forth between finding it cute and rolling her eyes.  She should just be glad at this point that we don’t have boys….

So I received word just a little while ago that my Uncle John passed away.

He was a great, yet humble and simple, man.  He was an excellent thinker because he was a great listener.  A discussion with him was often more about you talking and reiterating your thoughts, building and forming them while he took them in…until he brought out his fully formed thoughts and opinions and then you would have to completely rethink your line of reasoning.

He was my first model as a person of the mind.  When I was very young, he and my Aunt Dolly lived in California.  Then they moved to the suburbs of Washington, DC, where we would visit them several times a year.  And when he’d come into Philly we would almost always make a trek to the Art Museum and William H. Allen Booksellers.  I would be exposed to art and history, science and literature at his gentle hand.  Of course he would always indulge me and find a way for us to stop by a comic book store on the way.

He took me to my first R-rated movie, Alien, while I was visiting them in Maryland.  I remember it because I don’t think it interested him much, but he knew I really wanted to see it.

He was quick with a smile and a hug (which were really tight, especially for a man of narrow frame).  I was in awe of his library, which he shared with great generosity.

I remember family meals, usually holiday feasts, when he would dig into a dish and pronounce it “might tasty” with an evident joie de vivre.

Yet it wasn’t until I was a grown man that I felt I really knew my uncle.  Years ago when I was pondering the future of a relationship that brought with it some religious baggage, I wrote Uncle John a letter.  You see, he had converted to Catholicism for my Aunt and I wanted to understand the logic of his decision.  What I got was something different.

He spoke of the passion and love that had for this woman and that if it were necessary he would lose his soul for her.  This from a man of great warmth and love, but also somewhat stoical and not the kind for opening his emotions like that.  That letter gave me such a deep appreciation for the depth of feeling this great man possessed.

At the moment I am most sad for my aunt.  He was her life.  If he had any sadness or regret in passing, I am sure it was for her and leaving her alone.  I hope she can have comfort in the many years that they had together (their 47th anniversary was a few days ago).

Along with the letter that he sent me, I have another treasured possession from my uncle.  In 1958 he published a biography of the great physicist Albert A. Michelson.  Just last year I got him to send me an autographed copy.

So as well as all the warm and wonderful memories of my Uncle John—someone who was really like a grandfather to me—I have the expressions of his love for life and ideas and a woman who enriched his soul.

I can only hope to leave as much behind.