Thinking The Sounds

“I’m sorry, but I’m not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I’ve seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.” Dr. Sheldon Cooper

So while I was home sick yesterday, I decided to watch Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I, like many Star Wars fans, own all six movies on DVD even though we find the three prequels to be terribly disappointing (if not downright offensive) in their portrayal of the Star Wars mythos. I will still sit down and watch these movies and each time I still have this vague hope of being transported and immersed in the worlds that enmeshed me as a youngster. And each time I come up short.

There are definitely aspects of the prequels that Lucas got right. I have to admit that the films look amazing. The advances in technology since the initial trilogy make it far easier to create imaginative worlds that look realistic. And the worlds of Naboo and Coruscant definitely look real (though the battle scene between the Gungans and the droid army look like they’re taking place on the original Windows XP wallpaper—the hills are too green and the sky is too blue). The CGI characters aren’t as realistically rendered as the scenery and technology, but this was in some of the early days of the technology.

The story itself—the general plotline and arc of action—is also rather good. If you looked at a one or two page summary of the film, you couldn’t be blamed for getting excited. However, the devil is in the details and it really falls apart there.

Let me look at some glaring problems.

1. Jar Jar Binks

   Okay, I’ll admit it’s almost a cliché to mention the flaws inherent in the character of Jar Jar. When the film came out he was roundly criticized. But it was for good reason. He doesn’t fit. The original movies had plenty of humor (R2 and C3P0 have often been compared to the likes of Laurel and Hardy or Abbot and Costello), but none of it was so broad and drew so much attention to itself. The problem with Jar Jar’s humor is that it seems like Lucas is trying too hard and being too obvious. What this does is take us out of the mythos that has been carefully constructed by making us aware of the process of creation. That is Jar Jar’s great sin, in my opinion. There are plenty of other problems with him (obviously the Stepin Fetchit racial stereotype is one of them), but the biggest is that his character destroys ‘reality’ of the world that Lucas has painstakingly constructed.

2. Anakin Skywalker

   It’s important to note that there were lots of heavy expectations about how this character could be portrayed. After all, we’re talking about Darth Vader as a child. Everybody watching knows that he is going to be the one of the biggest bad guys in all of film. So we know where’s he’s headed. The trick is to make his story interesting—to see the genesis of the monster and perhaps build some sympathy for him. But how do you do that when the kid playing the role is so damned flat as an actor?! There is nothing here that hints at Vader. Not that he needs to go around torturing Jawas or anything. But his affect is so blank that I don’t feel anything for him—good or bad. And that’s not good as we’re being introduced to an iconic villain.

3. Midi-chlorians

   Really?!?! Microscopic organisms? At the heart of The Force? This is just so dumb and wrong that I don’t know how they let it happen. What makes The Force work in the mythos is the idea that it is supernatural and mystical. This gives the Jedi an aura of power and wisdom that connects them to mythical icons like King Arthur’s Knights of The Round Table, the Templars or even Ninjas. The mystical aspect gives their power something that takes them beyond normal humans. It elevates them to a new status and makes their story an epic one. Making the source of their power some sort of bacterial infection (or anything with a simple scientific material basis) obliterates the mythology. We can almost imagine a whole cottage industry of snake oil salesmen now combing the galaxy offering herbal treatments to “boost your midi-cholorian count so you too can feel like a Jedi!” Epic fail, George. Epic!

Perhaps at some point I can enumerate some of the other good parts of these movies (like the fact that Darth Maul is a complete badass!). But the disappointments above strike so much at the core of what these movies could be that they compromise even the wonderful parts of them. Which is a real shame.

I’ve been watching The Clone Wars series recently and it’s been reigniting some of my old Star Wars fandom. There is so much richness to the world(s) that Lucas created and so many people who are creating great works within this mythos. And for that I am glad.

So I received word just a little while ago that my Uncle John passed away.

He was a great, yet humble and simple, man.  He was an excellent thinker because he was a great listener.  A discussion with him was often more about you talking and reiterating your thoughts, building and forming them while he took them in…until he brought out his fully formed thoughts and opinions and then you would have to completely rethink your line of reasoning.

He was my first model as a person of the mind.  When I was very young, he and my Aunt Dolly lived in California.  Then they moved to the suburbs of Washington, DC, where we would visit them several times a year.  And when he’d come into Philly we would almost always make a trek to the Art Museum and William H. Allen Booksellers.  I would be exposed to art and history, science and literature at his gentle hand.  Of course he would always indulge me and find a way for us to stop by a comic book store on the way.

He took me to my first R-rated movie, Alien, while I was visiting them in Maryland.  I remember it because I don’t think it interested him much, but he knew I really wanted to see it.

He was quick with a smile and a hug (which were really tight, especially for a man of narrow frame).  I was in awe of his library, which he shared with great generosity.

I remember family meals, usually holiday feasts, when he would dig into a dish and pronounce it “might tasty” with an evident joie de vivre.

Yet it wasn’t until I was a grown man that I felt I really knew my uncle.  Years ago when I was pondering the future of a relationship that brought with it some religious baggage, I wrote Uncle John a letter.  You see, he had converted to Catholicism for my Aunt and I wanted to understand the logic of his decision.  What I got was something different.

He spoke of the passion and love that had for this woman and that if it were necessary he would lose his soul for her.  This from a man of great warmth and love, but also somewhat stoical and not the kind for opening his emotions like that.  That letter gave me such a deep appreciation for the depth of feeling this great man possessed.

At the moment I am most sad for my aunt.  He was her life.  If he had any sadness or regret in passing, I am sure it was for her and leaving her alone.  I hope she can have comfort in the many years that they had together (their 47th anniversary was a few days ago).

Along with the letter that he sent me, I have another treasured possession from my uncle.  In 1958 he published a biography of the great physicist Albert A. Michelson.  Just last year I got him to send me an autographed copy.

So as well as all the warm and wonderful memories of my Uncle John—someone who was really like a grandfather to me—I have the expressions of his love for life and ideas and a woman who enriched his soul.

I can only hope to leave as much behind.

Good!

When you ask accomplished teachers how they are, they always say, “Good, good, very good” — always good. Many people say that they feel dishonest saying they are good when in fact they have problems. But what we are talking about here is developing a fundamental sense of strength and well-being. Wouldn’t it be better to associate our mind with that rather than with all the fleeting emotions and physical sensations we experience throughout the say? What is the point of being honest about something so fleeting and impossible to pin down? If your well-being is so dependent upon emotions and physical sensations, you will have little opportunity to say, “I am well.” So when people ask how you are, say, “Good!”

— Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, from “Old Relationships, New Possibilities” (Tricycle Magazine, Winter 2008)

My wife chides me for this plenty, but I’m the kind of guy geek who does loads of research before buying any type of electronics or appliance.  Consumer Reports, Amazon reviews, CNET, blogs, the works.  I do my research.

Part of the problem is that I often overdo it, getting to a point where I’m too frozen to buy something because of all the competing reviews and arguments swimming around in my brain.  Since there never is a perfect choice (especially when you’re limited in funds), there will never be the perfect choice.  But my mind tricks me into thinking I can do and find just what I’m looking for.  (Yes, I’m an idiot.  Tell me something I don’t already know.)

Except this time it worked….

The phone

It all started when I bought a new phone a while back.  I decided that the bulky Windows Media Smartphone that I had was just overkill.  As much as I wanted this to be the tool that kept me organized and on top of things, it wasn’t.  And I hated (hated!) the touch screen for the phone.  It would turn off in the middle of a call and I had to switch back and forth between seeing the keypad and using other functions.  And the screen would get oily from sitting against my face (you know it happens to your phone too…).  And the thing was just big and bulky.

So I went looking for a new phone—a perfect one.  Of course I didn’t find one.  I basically wanted a phone with real buttons, relatively small, and I would like it to play music so I didn’t need two devices—a phone and an MP3 player.  So I got this pretty decent little Motorola Renew (made from recycled water bottles) that pretty much fit the bill.  And it was only like $25.  Points for me.

Except the MP3 player is crap!  The sound is tinny and bad and I couldn’t get any other earbuds to work with it except for the ones it came with.  Still, it’s a decent little phone that does what I want—lets me make and take phone calls.

Music, music, music

I suffered along with it, figuring I could deal with it.  Then me and the missus signed up for Napster and all the world’s music was ours for the listening for $5 a month.  So I wanted a new MP3 player to download all that great music to have at my beck and call and I started looking.

Now I foolishly assumed this included Napster-To-Go which lets you transfer the tracks to compatible MP3 players.  I found out after some checking that our $5 plan, wonderful as it is, didn’t include the ability to transfer music.  However, at this point I was already stoked by shopping for players.  And Father’s Day was coming up….

So, I had pretty much settled on one of the Sony Walkman models.  Now I know in the age of iPods that the Walkman name brings chuckles from those of us who remember strapping what now seems like a huge cassette player to our waists.  But Sony never killed the Walkman brand.  They used to sell portable CD players (remember those?) and now their MP3 player line also carries the name.

Now, I have to say that I think iPods are beautiful devices.  But I think they are terribly overpriced and I hate the iTunes software/store with a passion.  So I really had no interest in an iPod.  I went for the Sony because it seemed they offered good devices for the price.  One feature that stood out especially for me was sound quality.  Everywhere I looked, the Sony players were given high marks for sound quality.  As a former sound engineer with picky ears, this was a big enticement for me.

Now there were several other features about the Sony that spoke to me.  One was that the models I wanted allowed you to browse your albums by album cover rather than by name.  I’m really visual and like to browse my music this way.  I’m better at identifying the covers of some albums than I am at naming the artists (I do have several thousand albums…).  I also liked that some of the Sonys had built-in noise canceling.  One place I use an MP3 player is to make mowing the lawn more tolerable and noise-canceling is a must.

Choices

Okay, so now I began the hunt for the right player at the right price.  This was not an easy task.  The new models (the E series) were well priced but didn’t have the album browsing or noise canceling features.  The A series had album browsing but no noise canceling.  The S series had the noise canceling but some of the prices were out of my league—unless I wanted to compromise on capacity and go for 4GB instead of 8.  And then there was color.  Was I prepared to save $20 for a pink player?  (The answer, by the way, is yes, though I didn’t end up going that way.

I combed Overstock, Amazon and Ebay.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go for just 4GB to get the noise canceling.  Of course, part of me thinks 4GB of music in my pocket is pretty obscene.  How could I be dissatisfied with such abundance?  Especially when remembering the old cassette Walkman and carrying around a pouch of tapes.  I went back and forth on all of these and still didn’t have a definitive answer.

Another issue is that I was looking at discontinued models.  This meant that I couldn’t pop down to Best Buy, take a look, then walk home with some audio instant gratification.  I had pretty much resigned myself to having to wait for something to be shipped to me.

Our hero sets out

So, here we are at Father’s Day.  We had a nice breakfast at a great little local diner—The Coffee Pot.  Josie asks what I want to do and I tell her that I’d actually like to go out shopping, even though I’m not going to find what I’m looking for.  She suggests I go out alone, take a break from having the kids full time.  So I do.  I figure I’ll head down toward Gurnee, Il and see what I can find.  Go to the mall.  Check out BestBuy and see what else is around.  I have low expectations since I’m looking for discontinued models, but figure maybe there might be some backstock or whatever.

As I’m heading down Rt. 94, coming close to Pleasant Prairie, I remember that Prime Outlets used to have a Sony outlet.  I hadn’t been to the outlet in years but figure it’s worth a try.  Of course as I get to the exit I see that it’s closed.  I’ll have to drive another 3 miles and circle back, but I figure it’s worth the time.  I’m out for the day with nowhere to be so why not.

I drive around the outlet mall and don’t see it anywhere.  I realize that they added a new section a while back and figure I should look there.  Sure enough, there it is, the Sony outlet!

The goal

I go in and make my way toward the MP3 players.  I look around and see they have the old models.  There’s a 4GB with noise reduction for $80 (about what they’re going for online) AND I can take it home!  But wait!  There next to it is an 8GB for $99, way less than online!  Then I also see a sign that says all MP3 players are %20 off.  The one I want has an orange sticker with $99 and decide to buy it.

I take it to the counter, put it down and say to the clerk, “I guess that $99 is the sale price.”  The clerk responds, “No.  You get 20% off that price.”

I can’t believe it.  I found exactly what I was looking for.  I get to take it home and play with it right away.  AND it cost me less than the ones I was willing to settle for.

Situations like this don’t happen often.  Not to me.

I took it home, opened it, and it sounds great.  So I’ll be living with the earbuds in for a while and just blissing out.

Chick bass players are cool, right? Right.

But what if the chick player is related to Ringo Starr?

What about if he’s her GRANDFATHER?!?!?